Patissez is the home of the one and only original FreakShake.
It was freaking disappointing, like the few honest (not invited tasting) reviews I’ve read. If you scroll to the end of the post, you’ll see a photo of 1/4-drank Pretzella shakes which, according to reviews, seemed to be the best FreakShake at Patissez.
After reading all the reviews I could find, I settled on the not-very-much-ordered Sneaky Freak ($16).
The menu says it’s a Snickers-inspired shake featuring gooey salted peanut caramel – Snickers caramel shake – chocolate mousse, Sneaky pop-slide (peanut caramel semifredo pop, dipped in chocolate, rolled in liquid marshmallow and torched).
The outside of the mug was coated in the (not gooey) salted peanut caramel which eventually slid down to the plate below. The caramel did have a peanutty taste, unlike what some reviewers said, and although not gooey was quite good. The chocolate mousse fell off and some landed on the table (the shake was very top-heavy). This was really thick and creamy, though the chocolate taste was very subtle.
The semifreddo didn’t taste like semifreddo, but more like peanut caramel cookie dough (perhaps named wrongly), but I did quite like it and the crunchy chocolate and torched marshmallow fluff it was encased in. Unfortunately, I offered the boyfriend a bite of my nibbled semifreddo and he couldn’t seem to do a nibble too and proceeded to envelope the whole pop into his mouth, and then called that “a bite”.
After that, I was left with the shake, which was more milky than creamy, but I did like that it wasn’t too sweet. Managed to finish everything except the salted peanut caramel, which I left in huge goops on the plate. It was just too sweet with nothing to accompany it.
The table also ordered a burger, the Get Pig’d ($22, above), and a Bacon Jam Toasty. I didn’t take photos of the other two, but the Bacon Jam Toasty was tiny. The burger was alright as it came with fries. The Get Pig’d was unacceptably tiny, and without any sides too, for $22. Maybe the point was to leave you hungry enough for a FreakShake.
118 Holland Avenue